There is an empty bedroom in our house. A four-poster twin bed is made up with clean
sheets and a big teddy bear sits at the end of it. There is a life-sized Raggedy Ann doll on a
child-sized rocking chair. The only
other piece of furniture is a chest of drawers with 5 empty drawers.
This is our foster child’s room.
We were approved as a pre-adoptive foster family on February
9th, 2012. And we wait. And wait.
And wait. On a daily basis,
Little Miss asks me, “When is my brother or sister coming?”
When?
I don’t know. When we
started this process, our case worker told us that there were tons of kids out
there in our age range. A lot had
already had TPR (Transfer of Parental Rights), and more were moving in that
direction. But since our approval, we
have a hard time just getting a return call from our case worker. It sucks.
We “shop” online state photolistings of kids, and send
emails to the agency asking for more information about this child or that. Hubby and I debate disabilities, what we can
handle, what might be too much. We talk
about the children by first name, commenting on how adorable Faith is or how
Jay has a wonderful smile.
And then we walk upstairs and look at an empty room.
I remember doing this in a nursery across the hall from our room every day, multiple times. Making the room perfect, waiting for our baby to come. Five phone calls a week to the powers that be turned into three..multiple home studies passed. Weeks turned into months. The nursery was changed into a toddlers' room. Then the silence. Un-returned calls, roller-coaster weeks. Tears, frustration, anger, fear...peace and trust didn't come for almost a year. Today? The five year old screaming like a banshee outside is the miracle daughter God asked me to wait for. I don't think the wait was about my husband and I. Although it brought us closer to God and each other. I think the story was for her. She wil know just how much she was wanted, needed, prayed for. She wasn't abandoned like a piece of trash...she is our joy...and worth every tear I cried! I-Lean
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