To My Child...

I looked for you again today.  Sometimes I feel like I am “shopping” when I look at all of the children who are waiting for a family.  I know your picture isn’t there, because I will know you when I see you. 

I wonder if people can understand the longing to be a mother when it isn’t possible.  I wonder if they can fathom the fact that every time Little Miss has a tantrum, I wish for more children throwing themselves on the floor, not less.  It is so difficult knowing that your family is not complete and not knowing where you are. 

I have to be honest, I am a little more hopeful lately with a case worker who knows how to return an email and is looking out for our family.  Suddenly, I feel like someone else is rooting for us.  And this someone can make things happen.

I wonder if you know what you will be joining when you come home.  You will have a sister, 4 cousins (all girls, sorry), two sets of grandparents who are ready to adore you, 4 Aunts and 3 Uncles who can’t wait to include you.  I picture Christmas with all 6 children playing in the wrapping paper and “feeding the reindeer”.  I can see us cuddling at story time. 

A friend told me the other day that we had a “lot of love to give”.  That is true.  I can’t wait for you to experience the love in our family. 

My child, I can’t wait for you to join us.  We are waiting for you.